a long time

so I always give this speech at the beginning of a post now that says I'll start doing better at posting and then I never do so i'm going to stop making promises because i don't like not being able to keep them. My Real Life has been hectic to say the very least. I don't remember if I mentioned it but I've made some life changing decisions lately. One of which being that I'm going to Culinary School. I'm unsure as to what my schedule is going to be like once I get up there because I'm going to have to go to school and work, so that I can buy things like food (because for some odd reason we all must eat eventually). I'm still writing and I'm trying to balance my life out but sometimes it doesn't always work out like I want it to. I'm changing the blog up a little to make it more appealing looking and everything. Thanks for hanging in there with me guys. A new post to come soonish hopefully.

"Lucy I'm Home!!!"

Good morning, afternoon or evening...where ever it is in the cosmos that you are. It has been FOREVER since I posted here hasn't it and for that I feel ashamed. But there is good news. I'm here now! That should count for something, right? I hope so...Anyway I've got a crap ton to catch this blog up on I don't even know where to begin.

First I'm going to be doing some hard core reorganizing of this blog eventually, so just be aware that you might get alerts about new posts but they are just posts you've probably already seen. 

At the time of my last post I told you that I was going to try and get a review blog up and running and well it's up and running. It just took a heck of a lot more time and work than I had anticipated to get it that way. I hope by now some of you have ventured over to check it out. if not please do our address is http://twificreviewsa-z.blogspot.com/?zx=bb4f54e1adbdd283 and we do all sorts of things there including a contest so if you're a writer of the fanfiction variety, you should look over there.

I wrote a story for Fans Against Domestic Violence that I'm extending into a three shot...I know I know, but don't fear it literally takes me forever to write a chapter for that story because of the content of it so it won't put me any further behind than I already am...which brings me to my next thing. Some of you may be wondering why you haven't received a ff update for Leave It All on the Floor in nearly two months now. Well allow me to explain a little. I'm currently trying to catch up with my editing. I started the story without a beta and not only picked up one but two beta's at about chapter 16 so I'm going back through to edit all of the current chapters before posting another...at least that's the plan. 

I started posting on Twilighted, TwiWrite, MyVampFiction, and The Writers Coffee Shop...well pretty much anywhere that I can get my stories out there I'm getting them out there. Since Fanfiction.net has been a pain in everyone's butt lately. It let me log in this morning so hopefully the problems are fixed but I won't hold my breath.

Our, and by our I mean mcgt's and my, new contest started. It's a spring contest called showers to flowers and the link to all the info is up in the heading bar. See it? Good. Make sure to check it out later too. You still have plenty of time to write. It's a pick a picture contest and so far we only have four entries so please check them out and start writing.

As if I didn't already have enough to do, I'm working on a contest colab with Mcgt. Yes the same one I'm hosting the contest with. I can't say much about it because its an anon. contest but I can tell you it's for the Strictly Charlie contest. Both of us being Charlie fans it just seemed to pour right out of us. Yesterday we spent nearly three hours flushing out our plot bunny and writing an outline on google.docs. I can already tell that google docs is going to be our friend when it comes to this piece. I've never worked on a colab before but I can already see the draw to it. Brainstorming with M was a bunch of fun and really having someone else's input about characters and events was super helpful. M and I work really really well together when it comes to the contests we seem to balance each other out and hopefully my love of dialouge and her love internal musings will balance our story out as well. I'm sure I'll be talking more about this as it progresses. 

I'm going to try and get better about posting here. Now that I don't have a post on my review blog at all unless I really want to it should be easier for me to focus on my writing. Love You all! Until next time 

MWAH!

-ME

*sheepish smile and wave*

Hello there folks I know you are all probably thinking I dropped off the face of the earth and well that's not that far from the truth actually. I've been really busy with tons of things. Organizing not one but two contests and getting together another blog. It's called Twific Reviews and basically it's my friends and I rec'ing some of our all time favorite fics so please check it out. http://twificreviewsa-z.blogspot.com/

This site is going to become my personal twific blog site...where I'll talk about my own stories and things of that nature. I hope to see you all over on my other site eventually and if any of you are interested in becoming reviewers let me know because I'm still looking for staff ;-) Till next time my lovelies

XOXO

Katiecav

What next?

So I've been making some decisions recently about my life and the direction that I want to go with it. But I'm pretty sure none of you really care about that so I thought I'd just tell you that I'm looking for a fic to do my next review on. If you have a suggestion let me know. Till next time everyone!

My first fic review! - Real Women have Curves by: Truefan

Okay so for my first ever fic review I really wanted to do one that is near and dear to my heart and that is the story Real Women Have Curves by Truefan.

In this story Bella moves away from Pheniox to live with her dad in Washington. She's met with the same problems as most new kids face. Trying to make friends and fit in, getting up to speed in class and things like that. Sound familiar? It should if you've read the books. However unlike in the book series where it seems Bella is self conscious for no real reason, this Bella has one. She's labeled as a “big” girl, if you know what I mean. It's a stigma that she's lived with her whole life at first it appears that Forks isn't going to be much different than Phenoix was. There are still the same clicks and the same personalities that always made fun of her before. She's determined to stay as invisible as possible at her new school, but that isn't really possible and it's all because of one person. Edward Cullen.

Edward is Bella's lab partner in Biology and at fist she figures he's probably your average jock, but what she doesn't know is that there is nothing really average about Edward. Edward doesn't care what the other kids think. From the minute he sees Bella he's drawn to her. He sees her as beautiful inside and out and eventually he gets Bella sees it that way too. But she's been burnt before and her past always seems to rear its ugly head at the most inopportune moments. School bullies, jealous girls, town gossips, all of them are rooting against them, will their unexplainable connection be enough or will Edward just be another heartbreak for Bella?

Are you intrigued? Good because this story is so worth the read. It's well written and very detailed. The descriptions are absolutely amazing. I hate it when stories or chapters seemed rushed and I never feel that way with this story. Each chapter has that slow natural build that they always tell you is needed when you study creative writing in school. However nothing seems forced. The situations are real and so are the people. In my opinion True is a master at character development. The characters are not only fully developed but complex, and not only the main characters. True really took the time to see that even the minor characters shined through and were important to the story as a whole. Let's take the character of Emmett. Now in a lot of fics the secondary characters sometimes get forgotten or at least reduced to where it seems that only one aspect of their personality is showcased. Emmett usually gets the short end of the stick because lets face it Stephanie didn't really show us a very deep well emotion when it came to Emmett and most authors follow her lead making him you average or even kind of slow jock. He gets labeled as a goofball but a lot of people don't go any deeper. In this story we see that he's not only goofy, and yes a little slow witted, he's also fiercely protective and able to admit when he's wrong. True also has one of my favorite Tanya's ever! I do not lie. Yes in this story Tanya is the bad one...and what a great one she is. She's kind of your typical bitchy cheerleader at first glance but she's so much more than that. Her mother is the principle of the school and her father is the mayor, so not only is she a bitchy cheerleader, she's a bitchy cheerleader with power, and she uses that power for her own evil purposes. Seriously I've never seen a more underhanded, dirty high school girl than True's depiction of Tanya.

However important all of those elements are to the integrity of the story, that's not why I chose to do review it. I told you that this story was close to my heart and there's a good reason for that. It's like True took pages from my diary and wrote a story about it. I lived Bella's life. I lived Bella's life until I went away to college. I know what it's like to be laughed at every single day, to feel worthless, and wish that for once you could disappear into the cracks. I know how it feels to diet and exercise till your exhausted and hungry only to be discouraged when the weight never comes off. I've cried in dressing rooms and I've never once felt beautiful. Reading this story something resonated with me for the first time. I felt hopeful. Seeing that it's not impossible to find someone out there that would possibly want to be with someone like me gave me hope. So if you ever felt even the slightest bit out of place in school this is the story for you. If that's not you and you just enjoy a really sweet (sometimes lemony) love story you'd really enjoy it as well.

Hugs and Kisses,

-Katiecav

Link to the story on fanfiction.net - Real Women Have Curves
Link to the forum on twilighted.net - Real Women Forum

My reactions to the hatred in the Fandom

I know that I've been MIA for quite some time and I'm very sorry for that, but I have a plethora of personal reasons that I shall not get into here. Let's just say I've been busy and leave it at that. I'm going to try to do a story review on Wednesday for you guys. I'm not really sure which story I'll do but I'll figure that out later. Now on topic for this post.

First I want to just say that this issue wasn't even on my radar for the longest time and I guess that's just because I had never been very involved until recently. Now however it is clear to me that it's just slightly ridiculous and I, like many others, am a little tired of the meanness and worse the just plain hatred that is in this fandom. It's gotten to a point where many of my friends are considering leaving or have left it entirely. We are loosing not only good people but amazing authors because of this sort of thing. What is this sort of thing, you ask? This sort of thing is sending hateful reviews or mean e-mails to authors, aimed at hurting rather than helping. Authors are not immune to handing out this hatred though. For example some have been publicly bashing reviewers and readers. (I've been on the receiving end of this one...and I can tell you personally that it's not fun)

Maybe it's my innocence or my optimist nature, but I can see some very easy ways to rectify this situation.

1. Maturity

I can tell you that many authors are delicate fickle flowers. I know it seems strange to some people but it takes a lot of guts to put something out there for other people to read. I second guess myself every single time I post something. Also, as an author I can say that you become very attached to your plot and your characters and when someone says something negative, constructive or otherwise, authors sometimes they react like you were attacking their children. Try to read, review and respond maturely. Readers try not to attack the author, think of them as a cornered snake if you have to, if they feel that either them or their story is being threatened they will strike. Chose your words carefully when you press that little review button. And follow Thumper's advice. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it all." That being said, authors try not to take every single negative thing someone says as a personal attack. You must be mature enough to set your personal feelings aside and look at the review objectively. It is not the intention of most readers to insult you or your story. Many times what they are offering, while it can still be criticism, is meant to be constructive or is just a matter of opinion. If it differers with your opinion, well it differs there's nothing you can do about that. Attacking them only really succeeds in alienating them.

2. Understanding

Really they kind of go hand in hand, maturity and understanding. But one without the other won't solve the issue. Readers, here is the big thing you have to understand. We all have real lives and really more often than not they call us away from our fandom life. Some authors need to take a break for long periods of time for one reason or another and you have to understand and accept that fact. That's just how it is. Plain and simple. Sometimes it sucks, but that's life. Authors, you have to understand that not all the fandom realize what is going on in your life also you have to realize that unless you post strictly M rated stories your audience is widely varied and their response to your story will differ based on how old they are and how exposed they've been to the rest of the fandom.

The most glaring example of lack of understanding and maturity I can think of right now is the negativity surrounding an author that's in the hospital right now with a very serious condition. Readers and Reviewers, you have to realize what you say will be read by others, IT WILL BE SEEN. Reviews aren't very private things so take that into consideration before you post something. Authors, and their good friends, There is something else you need to understand. Everyone might not be as informed as you. Before you react consider that maybe they just haven't been told the situation.

Now before you all hang and quarter me let me just say that I'm not excusing the behavior in any way. What I am saying is if you react to hatred with more hatred what are you accomplishing? After all and eye for an eye will just leave the world blind right?

Leave it all on the floor Chapter 16 - teaser

Okay so here's a little taste from Chapter 16 of my story Leave it all on the Floor:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Tell me something?” Edward asked as he took a drink from his glass.

“What?” Bella asked taking her own bite of tortilla chip and salsa.

“What you were like as a kid?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…I know how passionate you are about dancing and that it started when you were young, but what else did you do? Where you into sports?”

Bella barked out a laugh, “No. Sports aren’t really my thing. I mean I grew up in a house with just my dad so I get the ideals, I can watch football and yell at the screen as well as anyone,” she pumped her fist in the air half heartedly and Edward couldn’t help but laugh with her. After their laughter died down she continued. but other than that…I didn’t do much other than dance really. It was my life, where I was able to find my center. Life made sense there, on the dance floor. I didn’t feel out of place or so alone when I was dancing.” Bella cleared her throat before continuing. “If I was dancing I was studding. I had to keep my grades up after all. That was a stipulation from my dad. We both knew that I wanted to dance but we didn’t want that to be my only option. I was actually on my way to being valedictorian when I was accepted into the ABA.”

“That doesn’t really surprise me much Swan,” Edward said with a small smirk before firing another question my way. “What’s one of your favorite memories from childhood that doesn‘t involve dance?”

“Okay I’ll tell one but you have to go next,” Bella smiled as she took another bite from her chip.

“That’s fair enough,” Edward conceded.

She absently twirled a chip in the salsa bowl as she began, “I was probably about eight or nine years old and my dad was off of work and he was going to go down to the lake and go fishing with one of his friends and his son and for some odd reason I got it my head that I wanted to join them. Seth and I were fine in the beginning, really were excited to see each other. It’d been a while with my Ballet lessons and the separations in our schools. It was getting to us.” Bella brought the now slightly soggy chip up to her mouth and ate it. She sighed and continued her story. “After a while though the excitement wore off and we quickly became quite useless, and more than a little whinny. Seth had said something that had upset me. I don’t even remember what it was now, but it really aggravated me.” Bella chuckled already knowing where the story was going. “I shoved him and well…needless to say sleepy children do not equal good balance and we ended up turning the boat over.” Bella and Edward were both laughing now. “I still remember my dad‘s when it happened. It was a strange mixture between anger and surprise.”

“How did you manage to overturn the boat?” Edward asked still laughing.

“Well I shoved Seth and he rocked a little too far and fell over the side. His dad reached to grab him and the mixture of the sudden shift on that side caused the little fishing boat we were in to flip. Luckly we weren’t that far away from the shore when it happened but it certainly ended our trip early and that was the last time our dads took us fishing, we always had to stay back with Seth‘s mom after that.”

“So fishing isn’t your sport either?”

“No. Not at all,” Bella answered with another chuckle. She swiped another chip from the basket. She smiled as she looked out onto the dance floor.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

If you liked it let me know what you think, leave a comment, stalk me on twitter whatever works best for you. :-)

Okay...i underestimated.

Okay so i know i'd said that this month i'd start a weekly fic review...well...my life is all sorts of crazy right now so i'm afraid that has been pushed back and with the contest entry time coming up i'm thinking it might be best just to start them after all of that since it's sure to leave me slightly frazzled. I know that I'm not really great at this blogger thing, but it's a learning process and I don't know if any of you know this but College kind of sucks and takes up way too much time. :-) I just wanted to make sure ya'll didn't think i completely forgot, I didn't it's just too crazy to set time aside to do something like that right now. I might change my mind after finals, but i'll keep you updated.

So apparently i'm a jack ass.

okay i know i promised you a story review and i'll get one up by next week, but the holidays have been crazier than i thought they were going to be. Still I've found some time to read over some of the stories i was going to review. I am a member of always send a review after i finish reading a new chapter, because i know how much i like to get reviews. Well apparently the review i sent upset the writer, which was never my intention. I got this huge review response and I've become a topic on the forum i used to frequent...that's right used to. I didn't mean anything by my review, only to give my honest opinion on the chapter, which as a whole i really loved. My only beef was that Bella had taken Edward back too quickly. Apparently i'm just not mature enough to understand Bella's position. Well that may be, but i'm sorry, if i were in a relationship of ANY kind with someone and they just dropped off the face of the planet i wouldn't just take them back into my life with open arms. Would you? I would make them sweat it for a little while. If that makes me an immature vindictive ass then so be it

I just don't understand the response to my review. I mean it's one thing to give me the long angry review response privately, but to post said review response along with more information on how wrong i was on the forum takes mean to another level. What's really the point other than to humiliate me and make me feel like a huge jack ass for giving my opinion? I don't care how many readers you have, or how many reviews you get per chapter, it does not give you the right belittle ANYONE.

Now I need a hug... :-( so much for my happy mellow holiday.

Coming Soon

Okay so everyone knows that the holidays are coming up right? And if you live in the USA like i do we have two, one this week. So that leaves me with some time on my hands which is good because i'm feeling incredibly behind on EVERYTHING. The submission date is fast approaching for our contest and i have no idea how many if any entries we're going to receive. I feel like I've done as much pimping out as i possibly can, but i still don't feel like it's enough. On top of all that my stories kind of fell by the wayside while i was focusing on getting the contest running and I'm afraid my readers are going to want to come after me with torches and pitchforks if I put them off for much longer. So this is what I'm going to do. I already have one chapter of one story written and I'm going to try to post it either later today or tomorrow. Friday I am going to knuckle down and write the last chapter of my other story, and work on the one i have coming up for the holidays. On top of that I am going to start something new here on the blog. Every week I will review a story that I've been obsessing over, or at least absolutely love. I'm not sure i can get it up by tomorrow, because i have a thanksgiving dinner to prepare so all except the first will be on Wednesday and will be called "Hump-day word reviews". I'm super excited to see how this turns out.

Holy Crap!

Wow...okay so *waves to new follower* yes we are small but mighty right? Thank you for following me and joining me on this crazy journey I'm sure to take us all on.

So to the name sake of this post. Right now my life is a whole bunch of crazy. I'm writing four stories at the same time. Three full length and one O/S, don't ask me why i thought that was a good idea...I wasn't going to do the O/S but it's for a good cause. I'm writing it for Fans Against Domestic Violence, which is a really good thing so i figured i could carve some time out of my day. I'm about half way through it and it's due by the end of the month...sigh...

I'm trying to also get involved in Lady Tazz's new blog Fandom Spotlight, which is a blog that focuses on the positive things in the fandom, which i don't think is done enough. On top of all that lets add the contest that i'm working on. I looked at the stats for the contest page and holy crap we've breached the 200 mark. How insane is that? I never in 100 years thought there'd be this sort of response. Now the closer we're getting to the deadline the more i'm feeling overwhelmed. After all there are only two of us hosting the contest, and we have to wade through all of the entries ourselves...how are we possibly going to do that? Then again just because that many people viewed the page, doesn't mean we'll get that many entries, right?

In other news. I've been a writing machine lately. I'm hoping to get the next chapter of Leave it all on the Floor up by this afternoon. If i don't get it posted then I at least want to get a teaser up. I'm working on the last chapter of Love in Music but it's slow going. I'm really finding the wedding hard to write, so i might have to scrap what i have and try something different. Well until next time then...

It's come to my attention

Okay so it's come to my attention that i have offended a number of people with some of the wording in the contest rules. Let me start by saying a heartfelt I'm sorry. It was never my intention to offend anyone. When i received the e-mail i was slightly shocked that something had been said to anger someone so much. I have subsequently fixed the problem, but i can't shake that shitty feeling that i have right now. It sucks. I feel the need to purge so here it is.

This had to deal with the slash stipulation of the contest. Okay let me just say this now! I MEANT NO DISRESPECT! At all. I know it sounds sort of trite to say now, but one of my best friends in the entire world is gay! I'm in no position myself to judge anyone about anything. All that beings said i feel the need to explain why the stipulation is there to begin with.

The no slash is just basically because I, as a reader, personally don't like to read slash fanfiction. And as one of the two judges for this contest i must read every entry that comes in. I can't say much else to defend it except to say that it's a preference, and i know i'm not alone out there. I'm sorry that's just how it is. When you write something like that you take that risk.

Other than that I'm very happy to see that i'm no longer talking to only myself! *waves to new follower* yes it's singular...but i still welcome you whole heartedly.

Contests

Okay so I entered a contest and came in second...I was a little disapointed about it because I put so much into it, and then it feels like all that work didn't pay off. I know that i sound like a spoiled brat but i'm not going to sit here and lie to you and tell you i was happy about not getting first. I endeavor to be honest. However I came out of the contest with a new fervor. I wanted to do my own contest but i couldn't get the support for it rounded up so it's on hold for a while however, i was trolling the forums one day and found someone looking for help for their contest and i responded. I mean i didn't want to just ignore them like people had ignored my request. So right now I'm working on a page for the contest on here...it's called Twisted Twilight Tales. It's a O/S contest that bases the stories loosely on some of our favorite Fairy tales. More to come soon on that front. Right now i'm headed to work on the page. I'll try to do another post later...

Sometimes I wonder...

Okay so i have these days when i seriously wonder what is wrong with me? I know I know i sound sooooo emo right now and it's not like me but it's true. The last post i did said that my story had been picked up by a beta...guess what? I don't know what happened. I sent them my chapter and then i never heard from them again. What did I do to scare them off? Maybe those stories weren't meant to be on the site. I'm getting ready to pull them off ff.net and send them into project team beta...I know that it might upset some people but i gotta do what i gotta do you know? and i have no other way to get it posted.

On the other hand my new story was just posted on Twilighted and i don't know what to do about that...i mean it's not even the one that i'm writing on right this minute. It literally has two ahead of it in line. What's a writer to do?

OMG!

Okay so i realize it's been forever and a day and a half since i posted...but it's not like anyone's reading these things so why i bother i don't really know. I'm super excited though...you wnat to know why invisable people? That's because my In Music series has finally been picked up by a beta...well i hope so although i'm not sure because i haven't heard from her since the fourth...and it's making me a little nervous...i don't know if i scared her away or something but i guess we'll just have to wait and see won't we...

In similar news...LIM is almost finished. There are only three more chapters left in the story plan and after its done i'm not sure if there is going to be another one or not...i'm unsure i'm going to take time off to work on both Leave it on the Floor and the newest one that i started call If You Can't Stand the Heat.

If You Can't Stand the Heat is a story about how food is a thing that can bring people together. Right now i'm working with Project Team Beta on it and I've posted my first chapter on ff.net but i'm hopeing to get this one loaded onto other sites with their help. The judge is still out on weither this is going to work or not, but we'll see i guess. I'm also writing a good sized one shot that i hope to be posting sometime in the near future, it's almost done. I started writing it when i needed to get away from the emotional chapters in LIM.

So that's what's new. I'm working on another chapter of Leave it on the Floor and hopefully it will be posted within the next few days...we'll see...

Almost done

I've nearly finished my story Love in Music it has about two chapters left in it maybe, but i don't really know when I'm going to finish. I'm going to be pretty busy for the next month with other things. Hopefully i can finish soon...well i just wanted to post because i hadn't in a while...so here it is an update! Almost Done!!1 YAY!!!!

Amazing reading!

Okay readers of the world i know that each and everyone of you has at some point picked up a book that you haven't been able to put down...I know i have. I recently found a online story that did the same thing to me. I was surfing on facebook and one of my ff.net friends had this story linked on her page so i decided to check it out and omg i was like addicted. the first five or six chapters read really fast because they were a little messed up, but after a while i really started getting into it. It's beautifully written and i love it! Okay you're wondering what story it is? Well it's called Under the Apple Tree. It's posted on FF and i'll get a link up here soon. I was seriously up till nearly four this morning reading this story. I couldn't stop and when i reached the end i was looking for the next button that wasn't there! That can tell you how good it is. I really have to rush this post so i'll post more about it later, but i just wanted to get it out there. More on this story will follow.

Emotional Scenes

So I just finished this really emotional scene in my story Love in Music and it took a lot out of me...not only that it took a lot out of me for days. It was the scene that i mentioned working on in the previous blog... I think part of my problem is that it was hitting really close to home for me. I know that no one was standing over my shoulder saying make her be in a car accident...but when I chose to write it I didn't think that it would be as hard as it has been. Time for some explination i guess...some of you may remember when i was writing Truth in Music, the prequel to this story, there was a period of long stretches between updates. The night before Thanksgiving my cousin was in a bad car accident...if you read the updated chapter than you already know quite abit about what happend...only his was worse. I didn't want to make it that difficult for Bella.

It was the night before thanksgiving and he and his friends had all wanted to go hang out. We live in a small town...and really there are only two places to go out, the bowling ally and the movie theatre. So they did both...however some of his friends partook in some alcohol. He didn't. Really none of us can get away with much in this town, our grandmother is a politician and our grandfather was a doctor and public figure as well. Everyone knows who we are...so needless to say there is no underage drinking or the such for us...and we wouldn't really do it anyway. I mean sure Ty (my cousin) would have a beer every now and then at home, and sure he was only eighteen, but he was responsible...but i'm getting off topic.

So...one of his friends were getting a little too drunk so Ty decided it was time for them to leave. His friend said that he could drive himself, but that was quickly thrown out as an option when he couldn't even stand. He was so smashed that two of the other guys had to carry him to Ty's car (well his mom's car) and dump him in. We still don't really know what happend next though. Ty was taking him home and then it happend. He doesn't really remember tha accident at all and i'm kind of glad for that. Whatever happend, the tahoe that he was driving went off the road and flipped twice. Nither of the boys were wearing thier seatbelts and they were thrown from the car. Someone driving by saw the wreck and called 911. They were both in bad condition but Ty was worse off. They aircared him to the big hospital in Dayton at about 2 Thanksgiving morning.

When the state highway patrolman came to the farm to tell his parents...he was a complete jerk. Only really saying that there had been an accident and they needed to get to Dayton. When my aunt asked for more information the jack ass said that her son wasn't dead yet. How could you say something like that to a woman who's son's condition is unknown? That's not the end of my problems with this jerk either, but i'll get to that later. So my aunt and Uncle took off from dayton calling everyone on their way. My grandparents live next door so they went over to stay with the younger kids until they woke up. Tanner, the middle boy (and my buddy) woke up with all the commotion, that's how I found out. He texted me at three asking if he could call...when i didn't answer he called my cell and when i didn't answer it he called the house. The house phone sits right next to my bed, so that one i heard. I remember his voice on that call. I hadn't heard him sound so young in a while. He was thirteen, and mature for his age, but he sounded about six. He was crying I could tell that much. "Katie I need you." Was all he had to say before I knew it was bad. "Tyler's been in an accident...can you come over?" I told him i'd be there as soon as i can before i hung up. I knew it was only about a five or seven minute drive so it wouldn't be long. When i came down stairs my parents were there. I told them what was going on and where i was going. I ended up staying over there at the house for the rest of the day. Grandma and Grandpa decided they would go up to Dayton since i could watch the kids. That's what i did for the next three days. We didn't really stay at thier house, they didn't want to be there. We were at Grandma's or mine, but only went to thiers to get clothes or games.

About five days after the accident i made my first trip to Dayton, with my mom. I took my best friend for support, because from what i'd heard i would need it. I don't have any brothers...and Ty is only about a year younger than me and for all intese and purpose he was my brother...i lost it when i saw him there in the hospital hooked up to so many machines. He couldn't breath on his own. He had a tube inserted in his throat and all sorts of IV's. Even though he was younger he was always the braver one of us. HE was a rodeo boy. A rider, a roper...never afraid of what was comming. It wasn't his first trip to the hospital because of that...he actually cracked his head open when he was younger, from falling off a horse. Seeing him there though in the hospital...i had never seen him look so vulnerable. It scared me. He was just starting his life and this happend. The worse thing was, the other boy, the one who had been drunk walked away after only a week. Ty might be effected his whole life. We don't know if he will ever walk again. He was doing something for a friend. A good thing and this happend...He was an athlete, a basketball player, a rodeo rider, who's in a wheelchair now.

Why do bad things happen to good people? Huh...why? I've been asking myself that question since we were told he might never walk again. What did he do to deserve this? Nothing. While i'm the cynical one...Ty he won't let it keep him down. When he was released from the hospital he was at every single one of his old schools basketball games...they even made him Team TA shirts, that the whole school section and team wore. He was there on the sidelines, cheering them on and showing them that what happens to us doesn't change who we are inside.

I know that's why I wanted this to happen in the story. Both of the characters needed to realize this. They both need to understand that what effects us on the outside doesn't kill our spirit or stifle our hopes. Sometimes it can give us more ambition, more drive to see those hopes and dreams to the end. Hopefully that will help you understand why there is all of this sad emotional stuff happening right now.

Stay tuned in on the Love In Music Page for a teaser for the next chapter. And please if you have been through a similiar situation or know on any level what i'm talking about please leave a comment.

Having problems...

Okay I know i'm new at this but i know that the point is that i can express myself so i'm going to try. I'm writing this story...some of you may know it. It's called Love in Music. It's a sequel to one i wrote called truth in music...anyway...there's a scene in a hospital and i'm having major issues pushing thorugh it. I can't seem to make myself focus on the page. It's actually getting so bad that i find myself looking for distractions. I can't explain it. I guess part of me doesn't want to have to write a scene that's hitting a little too close to home, having family that clocked in some series ICU hours themselves not so long ago...I don't know. It's an important part of the story and i feel like i'm letting my readers down having them go so long without an update but i don't know what to do either. If i force myself to write it all comes out like crap, but if i wait until the mood strikes me i don't know when i'll get to it. I mean, will i ever just happen to be in the mood to write a depressing chapter. Maybe i just have to suck it up and make myself do it and hope it's not total crap...i don't know.

I also feel like no one's reading it anyway, so i don't know why i bother. I used to be able to fall back on the school excuse but now i'm out for the summer and it's not like my job cleaning my grandmothers house is entirely non-flexable. I'm upstairs by myself most of the time, i could find time to write, but i've started this chapter about twenty different times and i've not been happy with one of them. What should i do? I'm in solid need of advice...please if you are reading this help me please help me!

Lets give this a shot

Howdy there. This is my first time blogging ever but I figured it's worked for other people why can't it work for me. I decided to start this blog for my readers to get more involved. I hope that it catches on, but who knows. All else fails I guess that I'll have somewhere to air my thoughts, even if no one reads them. So here it is. Me begining this first voage into the world of blogging...oh may the force be with me.